OT Humor: Heaven vs. Hell

From: Paul Braun <nerdware_at_laidbak.com>
Date: Thu Mar 11 18:21:28 1999

Story revised by Paul Braun, based upon suggestions from Eric Schranz:

The time had come for Bill Gates to finally leave for that great software factory
in the sky. Upon arriving at the Pearly Gates (no relation, but he did try to buy
them once), he was faced with a choice. He could either go to Heaven or to
Hell.

God said, "I'm willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a
 decision."

" Fine, but where should I go first?"

God said, "I'm going to leave that up to you."

Bill said, "Ok then, let's try Hell first." So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful
clean sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women
running around playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was
shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. "This is great!"
he told God. "If this is Hell, I really want to see Heaven!"

"Fine," said God and off they went.

Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps
and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick
minute and rendered his decision. "Hmm, I think I prefer Hell." he told God.

"Fine", retorted God, "as you desire." So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to
see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill
shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave.
He was being burned and tortured by demons.

"How's everything going, Bill?" God asked.

Bill responded, his voice full of anguish and disappointment, "This
is awful! This is not what I expected. What happened to that other
place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?"

God said to Bill, "That was just the pre-release demo."

"What do you mean?" cried Bill. "This place is nothing at all like that! I was
promised fun and frolicking and a trouble-free afterlife! This is excruciatingly
painful and miserable and I can't get anyone to tell me why!"

And God said, "Duh! You, of all people. What part of that don't you understand?
The version you saw is supposed to be bundled with HellNT, but that's been
delayed, pending a very large snowstorm."



Paul Braun
NerdWare -- The History of the PC and the Nerds who brought it to you.
nerdware_at_laidbak.com
www.laidbak.com/nerdware
Received on Thu Mar 11 1999 - 18:21:28 GMT