OT: Revise the English Language?

From: Richard Erlacher <edick_at_idcomm.com>
Date: Sun Apr 9 02:17:48 2000

With all the discussion about language, I though you might find this
interesting, off-topic though it may be. When reading this, keep in mind
that the German language has recently been re-engineered for reduced
redundancy and easier spelling.

Dick

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>
> The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has
> been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European
> communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility.
>
> As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that
> English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
> five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for
> short).
>
> In the first year, 's' will be used instead of the soft 'c'.
> Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the
> hard 'c' will be replaced with 'k.' Not only will this klear up
> konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
>
> There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
> troublesome 'ph' will be replaced by 'f'. This will make words
> like 'fotograf' 20 per sent shorter.
>
> In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
> possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters,
> which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil
> agre that the horible mes of silent 'e's in the languag is
> disgrasful, and they would go.
>
> By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
> replasing 'th' by 'z' and 'w' by 'v'.
>
> During ze fifz year, ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords
> kontaining 'ou', and similar changes vud of kors; be aplid to ozer
> kombinations of leters.
>
> After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b
> no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand
> ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.
>
>
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Received on Sun Apr 09 2000 - 02:17:48 BST