Brits so Wacky

From: Mark Firestone <>
Date: Mon Nov 15 02:51:21 2004

Heh. I've seen that (my neighbour bought it and brought it round) and it
was hysterical. It isn't exactly like the American version, but they did
show movies very much like it when I was in school in Tempe Arizona.

The American ones were more like the one in the Simpsons...

 Troy: Nothing beats a stroll in cattle country. Hi, I'm Troy McClure.
       You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus
       Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".
Jimmy: Mr. McClure?
 Troy: Oh! Hello Bobby.
Jimmy: Jimmy. I'm curious as to how meat gets from the ranch to my
 Troy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down Jimmy. You just asked a mouthful.
       It all starts here, in the high density feed lot. Then, when the
       cattle are just right [swipes his finger along the top of a cow
       and licks it]'s time for them to graduate from Bovine
       University. A klaxon blares out a siren and the cattle begin moving
up a conveyor
belt into the meat packing plant.

 Troy: Come on Jimmy, let's take a peek at the killing floor.
Jimmy: Ohhh!
 Troy: Don't let the name throw you Jimmy. It's not really a floor,
       it's more of a steel grating that allows material to sluice
       through so it can be collected and exported.
They walk throught the door of the plant accompanied by the sounds of
moo-ing and startled cows. Electricity noise sparks in the background
as the camera pans down the length of the factory to a truck marked
"Meat For You" being loaded with raw chunks of meat. Troy and Jimmy
emerge, with Jimmy visibly pale and queasy.

       Troy: Gettin hungry Jimmy?
      Jimmy: Uhh, Mr. McClure? I have a crazy friend who says its wrong
             to eat meat. Is he crazy?
       Troy: Nooo, just ignorant. You see your crazy friend never heard
             of "The Food Chain". [Flash to a picture of "Food Chain",
             with all animals and arrows pointing to a silhouette of a
             human.] Just ask this scientician.
Scientician: [Looking up from a microscope.] Uhhh...
       Troy: He'll tell you that, in nature, one creature invariably
             eats another creature to survive.
              [Images of various wild carnivores attacking and eating
             others appear.]
             Don't kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance,
             he'd eat you and everyone you care about! [Image of a cow
             quietly chewing cud.]
      Jimmy: Wow, Mr. McClure. I was a grade A moron to ever question
             eating meat.
       Troy: [Laughs.] Yes you were Jimmy, yes you were. [Briskly rubs
             his hand on Jimmy's head.]
      Jimmy: [Timid]'re hurting me.
-- Troy McClure, the silent hurter, "Lisa the Vegetarian"

Film's over.
----- Original Message -----
From: "Adrian Graham" <>
To: "'General Discussion: On-Topic and Off-Topic Posts'"
Sent: Monday, November 15, 2004 8:33 AM
Subject: RE: Brits so Wacky

> Look Around You was a perfect pastiche of those programmes that basically
> took the piss from start to finish. Each show was 10 minutes long with
> of background jokes and visuals and daft experiments, with plenty of
> opportunities to 'write that down' for later. At several points me and the
> missus were in tears :o))
> Best thing to do is for me to get the DVD from home and try and compress
> some snippets into interweb-friendly format.....I can tape some of it but
> you'd need a video that can play PAL-I broadcasts.
> cheers
> w
"But Schindler is bueno! Senior Burns is El Diablo!"

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Received on Mon Nov 15 2004 - 02:51:21 GMT

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