-----Original Message-----
From: Roger Merchberger <zmerch_at_30below.com>
To: Discussion re-collecting of classic computers
<classiccmp_at_u.washington.edu>
Date: Saturday, November 13, 1999 8:49 PM
Subject: Re: Customs Tricks (was: Re: Whoohoo! Fortune Telling...
>Rumor has it that John B may have mentioned these words:
>
>>>Which *your* do you mean? On which side of the creek do you reside? ;-)
>>
>>I reside in Canada....
>
>O.K. I'm on the US side in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. One thing I can tell
>you that here we only have 2 donut shops, and they're pretty decent - in a
>city of 14,000 it doesn't pay to kill off the locals... ;-) (Sault, Ontario
>has over 80,000 people, I believe, so they have more donut shops to choose
>from.) If ever we all meet in Niagara Falls, New York, avoid the donut
shops!
>
OLC has an office up there. To be fair to the province they have their
quarterly meetings in each "quadrant" of Ontario.. He complains about the
Sault..
>>You got it! Yes sir, no sir, can I wipe your....
>
>:-) Ain't that the truth! :-)
>
>>In Canada they move the agents A LOT! They make sure you won't get someone
>>you know everytime... plus a lot of summer students.
>
>Wow... must be that small-town stuff again. Most all agents even on the
>Canadian side here are over 30, so either they're *really* old students or
>they don't have access to many students up here. On the US side here,
>someone has to die if you want a job at Customs, so I'm somewhat chummy
>with most of the officers here. [[And that's the "important" side for me...
>Canada's usually quite easy: "Citizenship?" US. (sometimes with a thumb
>pointed south... ;-) "Why're ya coming to Canada?" Shop. "How long you
>gonna be here?" Couplhours. "Bringing anything?" Nah. "Go ahead."]]
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAH... Verbatim...
Our line is always:
Where are you going?
Factory outlet malls on Military Road. (A lot more believable if my wife is
in the car ;-) )
>
>Oh, and don't think the fact your car/truck is nice and shiny and clean and
>tuned will that keep you from getting stopped. Luck has everything to do
>with it, and if the officer you pull up to got lucky the night before, it's
>a breeze. If not... :-(
Agreed.
>
>I went to Canada once, wearing greasy sweats, hadn't shaved for a week and
>wore a baseball cap that said "Candy is dandy but sex won't rot your teeth"
>;-), truck barely ran, needed brakes & squealed badly whenever you appled
>them, muddy as hell, was an *absolute* mess (including 2 US military
>uniforms crumpled on the passanger side), the bed of the truck was full of
>trash, most of which was vegetative (which is a *big* no-no when crossing
>the border) and the guard asked my citizenship, looked at me funny and
>waved me thru.
>
>The next week: fixed, tuned & washed the truck, cleaned, vacuumed and
>dusted the interior, cleaned out the bed fully, was dressed in a white
>shirt and tie, fresh haircut... and Bam! The only time I've been pulled
>over at Canadian Customs. The truck got tagged, they pulled me into the
>shack, and I got grilled for 20 minutes about everything from what I had
>for breakfast to the color of my underwear. And... interrogations from
>border guards are akin to the CIA... They don't *ask* questions.
>
I have seen it happen many times. More often I watch people get busted for
hiding booze in the spare tire. Funniest one was once I saw this car speed
through.. sirens went off, and the trunk popped open.. A bunch of Immigrants
went running in every direction.
>"Yes, Mr. .... Merfriglburger"
> "That's Mer\sssh\berger"
>"Yea, whatever. You work at Can-Am?"
> "Yes."
>"And you make $3.75 per hour?"
> "Yes." (getting a bit upset at that...)
>"You crossed into Canada 6 1/2 days ago?"
> "Yes." (thinking... Damn, I'd love to see their network system!)
> (This was 13-14 years ago, after all...)
>"And you *say* you're coming here for the same reason this week?"
> "Yes, the Radio Shack still has a sale on, and I got paid today."
>"Yea, whatever. How much money do you have on your person?"
> (I *damn* near said "You know everything else about me...
> you don't know that, too?" Gratefully, I held my forked tongue
;-)
> "Hummmm... $65-odd cash Canadian, and I guess around $45-$50 US."
> (and yes, you can be refused entry into *either* country
> based on vagrancy - If you don't have enough cash to sustain
It works both ways.. You get tossed if you don't have enough or you get
beaten with drug charges if you have more than $10K.
> you during your stay in said foriegn land, you'll be sent
packing.)
>"Thank you. Please replace all of your personal items and be on your way."
>
>I stepped outside and everything but the steering wheel & seat were removed
>from my truck... including the contents of the glove compartment & other
>places of "personal" storage.
>
>[[Editor's note - I'm not just picking on Canadian Customs - Years ago
>(when I was an infant, so that's ~30 years ago) my parents were coming back
>into the US when US customs stopped them, tore the car apart *including the
>seats*. When they were all done, they said "You can go. You have 15 minutes
>to be out of the building." *thankfully* my dad is one hell of a mechanic
>and had a full toolset with him and could reinstall the seats in a few
>minutes - despite the fact the tools were spread in a 10 foot radius around
>the car. No joke.]]
>
>Customs can be your friend, or they can be the most sadistic bastards
>you've ever known. Be nice to them even if they're assholes - or you'll
>regret it if you do any border crossing at all.
>
Sadistic?? HAM RADIO GUYS CAN BE SADISTIC.
I use to go to hamfests to pick up pdp 11 stuff. One year there was a show
in Buffalo (convention center I think).. A Ham Radio guy I knew was still
pissed off with the stuff I got from the last Ham Fest (he missed it as I
got there early)... so what did he do????
He called the US Customs office. Gave them MY plate, car, and where I was
going... He told them I was smuggling RAM chips in the car. (remember when a
meg of Dynamic Ram was $1000?). Well, when I pulled up I heard 3 buzzers go
off.
They customs guy asked me who I was.. took my license and *told* me to pull
over.
They pulled apart the car. After finding nothing they told me they were
looking for smuggled RAM chips... I thought about it and figured it out with
them...
When I got to the Ham Fest BEN HENDRICKS (the soon to be beaten HAM guy)
asked me how my trip was? and smirked....
I got even with him in a *DEC* kind of way.... (but that's another message).
WARNING THOUGH - SIGNIFICANT DEC HARDWARE WAS DAMAGED *BY* HIM IN THE
PROCESS. He *really* should have checked the disk media before inserting....
>>I only ever got lucky once and got a girl I use to go to school with...
wish
>>I had a Picasso in the car that day :-(
>
>You can *afford* a Picasso? You must have one hell of a computer
collection!!!
>;-)
Not quite.... but I do have an *okay* group right now, and go through MANY
old minis (pre- 1972)... I don't really collect though (I am not a pack
rat)... I restore systems for *deep pocket* collectors on the side
(beginning to be full time) for $$$$. I only keep a few minis that I enjoy
playing with...
John
http://www.pdp8.com/ (to see the newest acquisitions - last month to
present).
>
>Take care,
>Roger "Merch" Merchberger
>--
>Roger "Merch" Merchberger --- sysadmin, Iceberg Computers
>Recycling is good, right??? Ok, so I'll recycle an old .sig.
>
>If at first you don't succeed, nuclear warhead
>disarmament should *not* be your first career choice.
>
Received on Sat Nov 13 1999 - 19:11:22 GMT