OT: Put Down Engineers" Week

From: Joe <rigdonj_at_intellistar.net>
Date: Thu Feb 1 08:27:50 2001

   I thought most of you could relate to this! :-)

    Joe

>Subject: Put Down Engineers" Week

>
>Q: When does a person decide to become an engineer?
>A: When he realizes he doesn't have the charisma to be an undertaker.
>
>Q: What do engineers use for birth control?
>A: Their personalities.
>
>Q: How can you tell an extroverted engineer?
>A: When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.
>
>Q: Why did the engineers cross the road?
>A: Because they looked in the file, and that's what they did last year.
>
>Q: How do you drive an engineer completely insane?
>A: Tie him to a chair, stand in front of him, and fold up a road map the
>wrong way.
>
>And you might be an engineer if:
>
>Choosing between buying flowers for your wife and upgrading your RAM is a
>problem. (This is a no-brainer - RAM all the way.)
>
>You still own a slide rule and know how to use it.
>
>You take a cruise so you can go on a personal tour of the engine room.
>
>In college, you thought Spring Break was metal fatigue failure. (We had
>Spring Break in college ? I didn't know that - I must have missed it.)
>
>The salespeople at the local computer store can't answer any of your
>questions. (Yeah - some knowledgeable salespeople they are.)
>
>At an air show, you know how fast the skydivers are falling.
>For your wife's birthday you gave her a new CD-ROM drive or a Palm Pilot.
>(Look at it this way - she's very lucky I even remembered her birthday with
>all the important things going on in my mind.)
>
>You can quote scenes from any Monte Python movie.
>
>You can type 70 words per minute but you can't read your own handwriting.
>(It's a code, fool !!)
>
>You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. (You
>forgot the humorous followup question: "What'd you do - stick your finger
>in the wall outlet ?" Hahahahaha !!!!!)
>
>You sit backwards on Disney rides so you can see how they do the special
>effects.
>
>You have saved every power cord from all your broken appliances.
>
>You have more friends on the Internet than in real life. (What's a
>"friend"?)
>
>You know what http:// stands for. (Damn right, and what's more, I'm not
>going to tell you.)
>
>You look forward to Christmas so you can put together the kids toys. (Damn
>right again - that's why I had kids - so I'd have toys to assemble on
>Christmas Eve - why else and so what ?)
>
>You see a good design, and have to change it. (Hey, I can always make a
>good thing better.)
>
>You spent more on your calculator than you did on your wedding ring.
>
>You think that people yawning around you are sleep deprived. (I'm really
>not sure why they are yawning, but I know it's not due to my vibrant
>personality.)
>
>You window shop at Radio Shack. (I hate the drool left on the windows by
>the previous engineer window shoppers.)
>
>Your laptop computer cost more than your car.
>
>Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea of what you do at work. (My wife hasn't
>the foggiest idea about a lot of things.)
>
>You've already calculated how much you make per second.
>
>You've tried to repair a $5 radio. (It seemed like a good idea when I
>started.)
>
Received on Thu Feb 01 2001 - 08:27:50 GMT