Modern Tube computing

From: Vintage Computer Festival <>
Date: Wed Jan 21 13:19:51 2004

On 21 Jan 2004, R. D. Davis wrote:

> Now then, just imagine how one could market a tube-based computer to
> those computer aficionados who share certain traits with the
> golden-eared audiophiles.

Want to know why your computer crashes all the time? Because the one
you've got is not using clean electronics! That's right, digital
computers made with Integrated Circuits (ICs) produce inferior
calculations, leading to subtle shifts and fluctuations that can cause
rounding errors and ultimately cause Windows(tm) to crash.

Instead, buy our nifty ENIAC (Entirely New Incredibly Accurate Computer)
3000 Computer system! It's based on vacuum tube electronics. That's
right, vacuum tubes!

Audiophiles have known for years that tube-based audio gear produces a
richer, more vibrant sound than that offered by digital audio electronics.
That's because tubes prouce a more clean signal. And the same
effect applies to computing. If you're using a digital computer made
with ICs, their resolution is not fine enough to handle calculations to
the precision that modern computing requires, thus causing regular
computer crashes. In fact, over 80% of computer failures in the United
States [1] are attributed by Complex Random Attenuation Problems. CRAP
is the leading cause of computer problems, beating out software bugs and
even shoddy programming. Our all new, state-of-the-art ENIAC 3000 uses
cleaner, more precise, vacuum tube logic elements that makes our computer
hum. It's like music (coming from a tube-based amplifier) to your ears!

Beat the CRAP out of your computer and upgrade to an ENIAC 3000 today!

[1] Statistics from the Bureau of Universal Numerics & Computing (BUNC)

(Ad paid for by Microsoft)

Sellam Ismail                                        Vintage Computer Festival
International Man of Intrigue and Danger      
[ Old computing resources for business || Buy/Sell/Trade Vintage Computers   ]
[ and academia at  || at  ]
Received on Wed Jan 21 2004 - 13:19:51 GMT

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