the other side of the equation - your SO/spouse

From: Chris Kennedy <>
Date: Thu Jun 29 08:49:29 2000

Bill Bradford wrote:

> How does your significant other/spouse deal with your hobby, if
> you have one (a SO, not a hobby), and what "concessions" do you
> make to stay in their good graces?

Jen is of the opinion that, considering the universe of other possible
vices and weaknesses that I could have selected from, this one,
while perhaps a bit peculiar, is better than most. She's also
suffered through my other hobbies -- cars, aviation, brewing and
glass audio -- so she's already had a chance to perfect setting
limits. I also don't fence her off from these activities but
rather allow her to get involved to whatever level she chooses.
Consequently she's become a pilot in her own right, is always
there on brew day and while she's not going to be wiring up
211s anytime soon she enjoys the sound of glass and is always
there to tell me how much she likes -- or dislikes -- my latest
dabblings in analog.

Her rules are few but hard:

- This stuff has to remain confined to designated areas, which
  translates as rented storage, the garage and my office. Nothing
  can be stacked outside and the garage has to, in general, remain
  functional for at least one car. It is, however, possible to
  get a day pass to use the kitchen or the wash rack area in back
  in order to clean stuff.

- It's a hobby, which means that it generally has to live somewhere
  below home and yard maintenance tasks in the priority scheme.

- I'm allowed to spend significant sums in support of this (and
  other) hobbies, but it's factored into the overall scheme of
  things. If I get a new machine, she gets a new dress for her
  collection of Victorian clothing. If I get a new piece of
  test equipment she gets something for *her* lab (yesterday
  it was a power tree limber for her silvaculture lab). And
  before I buy that 5000 sq ft shop building down the road we
  have to tack on the new addition and buy an airplane.

- I have to stay focused, especially since the trip she took
  with me to Marvin's place (Marvin has a collection to die
  for, but Jen made it clear that if mine ever became that
  large that she'd have me committed).

All in all she's incredibly supportive of all the weird
things that I do. I think part of her would prefer it
if I hadn't selected *another* hobby which involves
big, heavy, hard-to-move things, but it gives her fodder
for when she wants to give me a good natured hard time ;-)

Chris Kennedy
PGP fingerprint: 4E99 10B6 7253 B048 6685  6CBC 55E1 20A3 108D AB97
Received on Thu Jun 29 2000 - 08:49:29 BST

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